Growing up, I had two favorite holidays: Diwali and Christmas. The former was a way for me to spend time with the extended family. It was when my father would take a break from his work-related travel and be at home. Grievances amongst the family members were put aside to make room for memories, laughter, and bonding. On the other hand, Christmas was more about warmth, inner light, and, of course, decorating my plastic Christmas tree. Neither holiday was as much about presents as it was about being present. I couldn’t have articulated this as a child, but both holidays signified hope and belief to me. Today, they teach me to trust the process, believe that after darkness comes light, and that nothing in this world is permanent. In this week’s blog, I share how my approach to these festivals has changed over time as I have evolved as a human and a celebrant.
Last year marked my first Diwali in India after a long time. This year will be my second consecutive Diwali in India with my family, and I’ve concluded that I don’t enjoy this time here. If I had my way, I would be elsewhere to escape the traffic, noise and air pollution from the fireworks, and a multitude of social obligations. This time of the year no longer feels relaxing; in fact, it feels the opposite where there’s an unsaid expectation to be somewhere or do something. Many of the traditions associated with Diwali, whether they are superficial or deeply rooted in the scriptures, no longer connect with me.
One of my favorite memories from Diwali is from celebrating it with my maternal cousins in my grandparents’ hometown: a village in the state of Gujarat. It was simple living, but I had a blast with my cousins, uncles and aunts, and my grandparents. I was introduced to riskier fireworks, which scared me back then as well. My cousins also showed me around town and had me try the local delicacies that weren’t available in Bombay. All in all, it was special, because I got to bond with my maternal side of the family and experience all that the village had to offer to a big city girl like me.
Today, I appreciate the joy and excitement experienced by most of the country, including bursting crackers, eating Indian delicacies, and dressing up. I don’t harbor any judgment to how Diwali is celebrated for Indians around the world, but I do recognize that I am no longer tied to these festivities. Regardless, I still hold on to the aspects of the festival that matter to me: time with loved ones and believing that every day is a new day to be better and wiser.
To a local, I may sound like a curmudgeon, but I have my reasons. One of the biggest ones being that Diwali and Christmas have begun to feel overly indulgent and over-the-top. All the shopping, excess drinking, and overeating have become staples and pushed out some of the intimacy and togetherness of the festivals. On the flip side, I am aware that this time is special for the country as it is a time for financial bonuses, heavy retail sales, uninterrupted time with family, and special treats. Still, I can’t help but wonder why we’ve all contributed to this cycle and how we can move away from it. I don’t have a solution for it, and I know that for most people none of this is a problem.
I recall feeling similarly when I lived in the States. During the holiday season, the malls were packed, there were long lines at the grocery store, and all the online sites wanted you to order well in advance for presents to arrive before Christmas Day. All of this often led to feeling rushed and overspending. At times, I felt as if I was holding my breath and finally releasing it once the New Year rolled around. Of course, I loved seeing my closest friends and buying thoughtful presents, but none of that was possible without some level of stress and overwhelm.
Sometimes, I wish I could relive my favorite Christmases. One of them being from my early 20s when I had just returned from a trip to India. I had two days to myself before I went back to the madness at work. During those two days, I slept a lot, relaxed, went slow, and did what I enjoy doing: watching movies on TCM (Turner Classic Movies).
Another favorite Christmas memory is from childhood when my cousin helped me organize a Christmas party at our home in India. She had this brilliant idea of dressing up my father as Santa Claus. We invited all our younger cousins, and it was an event filled with games and surprises. The biggest one was when my father showed up dressed as Santa and handed out presents to the young ones. Their look of sheer joy and awe from meeting Santa in person was one to remember for the ages.
For many years, I celebrated the holidays on my own with Coco. Initially those times were hard and abundantly sad. I would be so envious of all the people who got to celebrate with their loved ones. As time passed, and when I eventually chose to make the most of the lemons offered to me, I did things differently. Even if I was alone, I put up a tree, because it made me happy. I lit diyas and decorated, because it made me feel closer to my roots. Today, Coco and I are blessed to celebrate with family, but our time alone has made us aware of how we celebrate and with whom.
Over the years, my fondness for Diwali and Christmas has changed just as the relationship with myself and the world have changed. I still enjoy certain aspects of both, but I wish I could slow down and connect more deeply to the true purpose of these holidays.
This Diwali, I have accepted the fact that I am allowed to think differently even if I stick out like a sore thumb. I am allowed to outgrow the parts of the festivals and rituals that don’t resonate with me anymore, and I am allowed to pick, choose, and create my own traditions that feel truer to my evolution as an adult.
I will never ask anyone to celebrate any differently, because behind celebrations are beliefs, traditions, and, most importantly, emotions. Ultimately, whichever rituals we choose to follow, I hope we do them with our whole heart. For me, this Diwali and every Diwali, will be a lesson in patience and acceptance of the fireworks, the crowds, the traffic, and the sweets!
As always, I am here to support you all the way, my brave soul. I hope you keep in touch with your stories, thoughts, and feedback. If you wish to learn more, please stop by www.imperfectbodies.com. Lastly, if you enjoyed this information, then please share it with others.
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All the best,
Chaitni
What an amazing article Chaitni, being a small towner and also learning to live slowly, I can completely resonate with your words ✨ Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for taking the time to read and share your thoughts, Priyank! Truly appreciate it.