I grew up in the service industry. My family owned one of the first Indian grocery stores in New York, and I helped out every now and then. Later, when my parents and I moved to the United States before high school, they opened an Indian fast-food restaurant. Every weekend was spent packing orders, cleaning, serving customers, or doing […]
I’m just not confident. I’m the responsible one. I’m terrible with money. I’m a perfectionist. I’m too emotional. Listen closely to the stories people tell about themselves, and you’ll notice something interesting. We don’t just have beliefs. We become them. At some point, a thought repeated often enough stops feeling like a thought and starts feeling like the truth. It becomes part of our identity. We stop questioning it. We defend it. We make
I Married Who I Was Read More »
Have you ever had an old memory arrive out of nowhere? Not because you were looking for it, but because something inside you quietly opened a door you didn’t even know was there. That’s what happened to me this week. I was curled up on the couch reading Mating in Captivity (great read, by the way) by Esther Perel when, without warning, I
The Places Shame Made Me Small Read More »
Sometimes, nothing makes me happy. Not even my favorite being in the world, Coco, my senior pup. On those days, I feel unsettled and restless. I try to find happiness or chase it in food, control, productivity, or the next thing on my to-do list. The more I hunt for it, the more elusive it becomes. And
Have You Seen My Happiness? Read More »
On Saturday night, I got into an argument with Lola. She was loud, persistent, and almost convincing. The more she spoke, the smaller I felt. My chest tightened. My heart raced. My thoughts spiraled. I could feel myself moving closer and closer to that familiar place where everything feels impossible and giving up seems like the only
My Conversation with Lola Read More »
Is there a past version of yourself that you miss? Not all of you, but fragments of you. Certain moments, habits, feelings, or memories that still make you pause nostalgically for a second before reality settles back in. I feel that way sometimes. There are versions of myself that were unhealthy, emotionally disconnected, avoidant, or surviving in ways
One night this past week, as I was getting ready for bed, I had a thought that felt absurd and painfully familiar at the same time: What had I even done today? I immediately began defending myself in my own head. I reminded myself that I had gone grocery shopping, spent time with my mother, and finished a self-help video. I
The Rest I Couldn’t Justify Read More »
A recurring theme in my life has been the belief that I only had myself. I didn’t know what it was like to have a rock-solid support system during difficult times, so I learned early on that I would have to figure things out alone. Over time, that belief became less of a coping mechanism
Thanks, But I’ve Got This Read More »
Growing up, perfectionism and hard work were revered in my home. The unspoken rule was simple: if you do something, do it “right” or don’t do it at all. There was very little room for error. And if a mistake happened, I hoped, almost prayed, that it would go unnoticed. That kind of environment doesn’t
The Mid-Air Miracle Read More »
I have a move coming up in less than a week. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve moved in my life, but it’s a number that’s almost half my age. In just the last four years, I’ve moved three times. Relocation, for better or worse, has been one of the constants in my
