Maybe everything feels overwhelming right now. Maybe it seems like there’s too much to do and not enough time. Maybe it feels like everyone wants a piece of you when you’re struggling to give enough to yourself. Maybe you think you’re running a marathon without a finish line. All of the above is where I am currently. Ready, set, go was called out, and I’m still going. In this week’s blog, I share my experience lately where the pressures from life are mounting and how I’m choosing to show up, especially when I have to be my own support system. I hope at least some of what I express resonates with you to apply in your own winter season.
Recently, more of my time and support are needed in the family business as it is expanding. It’s growing, which requires at least some of my energy and effort. The demands are temporary, or so I think, but it’s my way of showing up for my spouse in fulfilling his dreams. At the same time, I am engaging in new ways with my work. The evolution has a steep learning curve to it, which means substantial time spent on research, compilation, and assessment to improve. On top of all this, it’s festival season in India, which is peak time for social gatherings and celebrations. All of this comes with unexpected chaos, such as an ill family member, on the fly meal planning, or interpersonal conflicts.
Life is demanding in more than ways at the moment, but this isn’t my first rodeo. This time, I can confidently say that I’ve finally figured out a few ways that make me centered and not worsening my depression. My most important rule right now is to focus on the short-term. Thinking too far ahead is a trap where fallacies make me spiral. When resources are limited – physical and mental – it’s better to lessen the load by spending more time in the present.
In the past, there would’ve been constant chatter around how I can’t deal with the current overwhelm anymore or how I don’t have time for any extra responsibilities. Instead, the me that continues to heal is playing out a different dialogue. My narrative today is that this is hard but not impossible. I am reassuring myself that I’m capable enough to make time for matters to me right now. Lastly, I am checking-in with myself throughout the day to understand what I’m feeling and what I can do to feel better. If I was on autopilot, like before, it would be too challenging to manage my stress possibly leading to an unnecessary outburst. Today, as the negativity was piling on, I paused and told myself that I was going to choose love in every form. I repeated that mantra all day long so I could see the best in others and myself.
Besides paying attention to my inner voice, I’ve gone back to making realistic to-do lists. I’d rather put pen to paper than have an inordinate number of tasks and thoughts swirling in my head. More importantly, my approach to crossing off a task from my list has changed. Previously, all that mattered was finishing the job; whereas, now, starting the job and taking any step towards completing it counts. I feel more in control than not starting at all. I can’t tell you how many times I appease my anxiety by telling myself that I’ve at least got the ball rolling. In this way, the enormity of the task diminishes. It’s my way of stepping away from an all or nothing approach where getting something done is better than getting nothing done, the latter of which will hang over my head day after day.
Another technique I am trying is to limit multi-tasking, which, honestly, is the easiest behavior when I have so much on my plate. It’s the default approach for many of us when there’s a lot to get done in a short period of time. I have this false belief that multi-tasking comes naturally to me, but I’ve realized that it worsens my mental clutter and efficiency. The less I multi-task, the more I hold on to my sanity. Currently, when I’m talking to my mom, that’s my focus. When I’m cooking, that’s all I’m doing. When I’m out with family or friends, I’m all in.
An additional shift is reshuffling my priorities temporarily. I spend a couple of hours a week learning art at a local art studio. I haven’t been to the studio in three weeks, and I’m not sure when I’ll be able to return considering the current pace and unpredictability. I take my time at the studio extremely seriously, but, right now, I’m giving more weight to other priorities, such as client prep or slowing down whenever I can. I’ve shut the door on guilt trips that trick me into believing that I won’t progress as intended or that my art lessons are not as valuable to me. When I experience less guilt, I experience less resentment.
Since the last few days, I’ve also restarted my nightly walks. These walks encourage me to get out of the house, enjoy the fresh air, and find awe and wonder in everyday happenings. I watch the kids playing; I listen to podcasts or music; I bond with the street dogs; I smile at the neighbors; and I just soak in the sights and sounds around me. Sometimes, my walks are short and sometimes they are not, but what matters more is showing up for them.
Another change is that without much planning, I end up taking a rest day during such hectic times. Whether it’s a Sunday or a weekday when my schedule isn’t as packed, I take a nap, read, or find other ways to reconnect with myself. I feel less controlled by circumstances and more in control of those same circumstances.
Lastly, I’d be remiss to mention how much reading a good book, sending memes to my friends, talking to them, and, especially, laughing help. Through all of this, my takeaway is that I cannot forget myself. I don’t come last even when life and life doers are asking for more than usual. I still come first but that rank can be reached in more ways than I give myself credit. No matter your current season, I hope you at least thinking about how you can come first in your life so that when this season transitions into a lighter one, you still walk away with a richness and wholeness.
As always, I am here to support you all the way. I hope you keep in touch with your stories, thoughts, and feedback. If you wish to learn more, please stop by www.imperfectbodies.com. Lastly, if you enjoyed this information, then please share it with others.
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All the best,
Chaitni