I have a move coming up in less than a week. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve moved in my life, but it’s a number that’s almost half my age. In just the last four years, I’ve moved three times. Relocation, for better or worse, has been one of the constants in my life. Nevertheless, if there’s one thing it keeps teaching me, it’s this: We tend to take stock of life in terms of what’s missing but rarely in terms of what we can let go of and what we already have. I’m referring to both the intangible and tangible. In this week’s blog, I share how letting go, at times, makes you feel like you have more than you ever imagined.
None of this is about right or wrong, or how change should be handled. It’s simply what’s working for me, and an invitation for you to get curious about how you might approach change differently. Since healing doesn’t happen in a bubble; it happens in community, which is what I hope to create here.
That said, let me tell you more about my move. Even though I’ve only lived in this house for two years, I’ve still found things to donate and throw away. I was convinced I wouldn’t have much baggage, literal and metaphorical, this time, but I was wrong. Yet every time I let something go, I feel lighter. Moves, in general, are heavy and stressful, but discarding and donating, however tedious, feels freeing. It makes me realize that I’m making space for what I actually want, mentally and physically.
Even if you’re not moving, I wonder:
What would you find if you went through just one drawer? One shelf? One corner of your home? More importantly, what could you release, literally or figuratively, that you no longer need? Try it. You might walk away feeling lighter than you expected.
This move isn’t any less stressful than the others. I’m on edge. I’m worried about logistics and about settling into a new place that is only temporary. A more permanent move will happen in a few months. Just knowing that this immediate move is merely a pit stop feels exhausting, because I get to do this all over again in some time. Still, unlike before, I’m not fighting it.
Do I want to move? No.
Would I rather skip this in-between phase? Absolutely.
But I’ve learnt that resisting what I can’t control only makes it harder. No matter how much we try, some changes don’t go our way. We can dream, plan, and even come close to what we want but the path there won’t always look like what we imagined.
So, I’ve been reminding myself that this short-term move is part of the longer-term plan.
I can’t bypass it, so why exhaust myself trying to resist it. After all, my six-month stay won’t break me. It’s just a chapter, not the whole story.
If you’re in the middle of something difficult, pause for a moment, zoom out and evaluate what the bigger picture here is; whether this will matter as much in a year; and if you can soften your resistance, even slightly.
Although I’m accepting what I cannot control, I’m not avoiding how I feel. There’s frustration, doubt, and fatigue. The effort of making yet another place feel like home, especially for my senior dog, even if it’s short-term, seems tiresome. But instead of pushing away these emotions, I’m sitting with them. At the same time, I’m using my tools.
These tools are positive coping mechanisms that I’ve gathered on my healing journey, and they include being kind to myself, leaning on my support system, and letting myself be honest about what this feels like. For a long time, I thought being “strong” meant pushing through without feeling. Now I know it’s the opposite.
When things are hard, you don’t need to become robotic. Instead, you need to stay connected to yourself. In fact, your vulnerability with yourself and the right people can open perspectives and support you didn’t realize you had.
As I’ve embraced my feelings, I’ve gone back to an activity that I used to do every morning when I lived alone: listening to spiritual music. It grounds me. It quiets my mind. It even calms Coco.
If you’re going through change, especially an uncomfortable one, ask yourself:
How can I be a little more honest about how I feel?
Who can I lean on?
What tools have helped me before that I can return to?
Please know that you don’t have to do it all alone.
My upcoming move has made me reflect on my priorities. In the past, when I felt this stressed, I would jump headfirst into “go-mode.” I’d shut everything else out and focus only on getting things done. That tactic worked, but it came at a cost, and, this time, I’ve decided that I don’t want to operate like that anymore. I know better, and I want better.
I still want to take care of my mental and physical health. I still want to show up for my relationships. I still want to rest. And I’m not going to shortchange any of those priorities.
Reading, for example, is something I love. I am reading less right now, and lighter material, but I’m not abandoning it completely. I’m still checking in on people I care about. Maybe not as much as usual, but intentionally. Thanks to my husband, I’m also taking breaks, whether it’s a quick lunch or a simple moment to laugh and not take the inevitable too seriously.
I am also approaching exercise, which helps me regulate, more mindfully. I tend to overdo it, but this time I’m learning to balance effort with rest. Sometimes, even the things that are “good” for us need boundaries.
So, I’ll ask you what I’m asking myself:
What are your priorities right now?
And are you making space for them, even in small ways?
Because at the end of it all, those are the things that matter.
This move also reminds me that change, however uncomfortable, often leads to growth. As passé as that sounds, it’s undeniable, even though in the middle of change, it rarely feels that way. We get so focused on the outcome that we overlook the process. As a result, this time, I’m trying to focus on how I move through it and not just where I end up.
Every move I’ve gone through, even if the space wasn’t ideal or my mental state was fragile, has changed me in ways I thought impossible. The same is likely true for whatever you’re going through, no matter how heavy, unfair, or unnecessary it feels.
There are doors opening that you can’t see yet. There are parts of you emerging that you haven’t met yet. Through this muck, you are learning how to handle discomfort differently.
You are also discovering new ways to support yourself. That’s growth even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.
If you’re in the middle of change, I’m sorry. It can’t be easy for you, but you can do this. You are doing it, and you will come out on the other side of it. You can handle this dread differently; you can learn to appreciate the process; you can learn a whole new side of yourself. Just don’t abandon yourself while you’re in it. Be there for yourself in the ways you know how or are willing to learn. Above all, remember that we’re all figuring it out, one change at a time.
As always, I am here to support you all the way. I hope you keep in touch with your stories, thoughts, and feedback. If you wish to learn more, please stop by www.imperfectbodies.com. Lastly, if you enjoyed this information, then please share it with others.
My 5-minute guide for when you’re feeling overwhelmed, stuck, or lost. Reset your energy and reconnect with yourself. Bonus audio guide included. Available here: Energy Guide
All the best,
Chaitni