For the last several years, I accepted and worked through an unprecedented number of changes in my life. At times, I tolerated them. Occasionally, I outright abhorred them. Sometimes, I even welcomed them, but the fact of the matter is that I dealt with them. Change has either shown up at my doorstep, or I’ve intentionally chased it; however, that’s no longer the case. In the last couple of months, I’ve chosen comfort, routine, and steadiness over constantly pushing my boundaries and getting out of my comfort zone. This version of myself feels different and one I can’t quite reconcile with. It feels like I am betraying the world that constantly preaches growth through discomfort and challenge. As much as that’s valid, there comes a time for slowing down before gearing up again for the road ahead. In this week’s blog, I share how I am embracing that sentiment while sorting through the guilt and shame that come with this slower pace of life.
Last year was my year of yes. I challenged myself professionally and personally. I surrendered to discomfort and reveled in it. I networked, asked for feedback, which was sometimes brutal, and I fell in love. I learnt to stand up for myself even if that meant severing ties. I worked on letting go of old wounds while I gathered new ones. I watched my father survive a heart attack, and I appreciated my parents’ willingness and participation in family therapy. Overall, it was a challenging and rewarding year, but it left me spent.
So far, this year, I’ve desired to stay in my cocoon without much hullaballoo. I’m choosing to prioritize my continuing education credits, develop an online self-paced mindful living program, and intentionally expand my personal circle. With or without my permission, I am slowing down, and it’s not easy. I feel guilty and less worthy, because I have not tasted the success that I have in mind. I am anxious that cutting back will put a dent in my goals and business aspirations. Nevertheless, I also know that in my heart, this is what I want right now.
I am doing my part albeit a tad slower than I did a few months ago. I haven’t abandoned my dreams. I haven’t given up. I am still at it. I am teaching myself to not think of this time as unproductive, because it is not. I am reminding myself that productivity is not always about results; it’s more about taking steps, however small, to get closer to the destination.
I don’t expect to go at this pace for the rest of my life, but, somewhere, my mind and body are calling for it. Prioritizing my time with loved ones, working on solo entrepreneurial projects, and conducting intermittent workshops feels more at my wavelength currently.
I am left wondering what is so wrong to be within our comfort zone once in a while? Why is that looked down upon? And why are we so hard on ourselves?
As a community, I strongly believe that we not only need to work on growth by pushing ourselves but also work on growth by being steady and still. There is discovery and fulfillment in both if give them equal energy, importance, and balance.
Hard work comes easily to most of us, but rest does not, and that is exactly what I am learning to do with ease and gratitude. It is difficult to tackle the guilt associated with resting. The word “should” often makes an unwanted appearance during those times. To cope with the guilt, I am focusing on the benefits of this slower pace. One of those benefits has been to return to my studies with rigor and excitement. It is taking me time to comprehend that sometimes, in order to make progress, it helps to quiet down and take a route that feels more relevant at that time.
I know myself enough that when I am ready to go faster and harder, I will. That belief and thought keep me in check from taking steps out of panic and fear. During this time, I am trying to understand what I enjoy about my business, which parts I want to expand, and how I can get there. I want to get out of my comfort zone deliberately, not just for the sake of it. This is a time to get more intentional about my interactions, my purpose, and my future.
When we go through too much change at once, it is easy to get lost in the midst of it where all we do is survive. Afterwards, we have to readjust and relearn the process of living to meet ourselves where we’re at. I was too busy trying to prove to myself and others that I was a good businesswoman. I was so focused on success when, in fact, it left me feeling less accomplished and more stressed out. This step back is a way to find my own footing and discover what works for me in a place that is foreign in too many ways.
I believe that slowing down is a mindset shift; it doesn’t make any of us less productive or successful. I am choosing and doing what makes the most sense to me right now. I am relearning that more does not always equal happiness. If people judge my actions (or inactions from their point of view), then it does not define me. What matters more is that I don’t judge myself to better understand where I am today.
As always, I am here to support you all the way, my brave soul. I hope you keep in touch with your stories, thoughts, and feedback. If you wish to learn more, please stop by www.imperfectbodies.com. Lastly, if you enjoyed this information, then please share it with others.
My guide to creating your vision available here: https://fierce-originator-1156.ck.page/fb87324085
Check out this week’s wellness video content on YouTube: Grounding Techniques to Overcome Stress
All the best,
Chaitni