Growing up, I had a consistent body type. I had my share of insecurities, some of which I still do, but I was naive enough to think that my body wouldn’t change much over time. I was in for a surprise when I turned 30. It felt like the changes happened overnight although I’m sure that was not the case. I was a bit stunned and taken aback, so it took me time to understand, accept, and love these “new” parts of me that filled out or became more prominent. Now, I’m on the cusp of 40, and my body and mind are experiencing a whole distinct set of changes. In this week’s blog, I share my vulnerabilities and insecurities of the next decade in my life to remind you that change is inevitable; however, if we can courageously talk about it, we don’t have to do it all alone. Conversations revolving bodily changes need to be had loudly and clearly so they don’t turn into negative self-talk or shame.
Since my 39th birthday, my mind has been reeling with questions about what the 40s will bring, such as the onset of menopause, weight gain, my sex drive, waning energy levels, my commitment to fitness, and so much more. Consequently, there’s also concern for the older beings in my life, such as my parents and Coco, as watching them age is heart wrenching.
Unfortunately, the majority of what the different forms of media have to offer is unreal, questionable, or, in some cases, simply impossible when it comes to preserving my youth. Interestingly, it is scarier for me to say good-bye to my 30s than it was to bid adieu to my 20s. Again, this fear stems from all the chatter around how it’s all downhill from here on out, especially for women. I am challenging this false belief, because, like every season in life, my 40s will have their pros and cons. Not every year will be rosy and nor will it be thorny. I accept that those years will be what I make of them, which is how the last few decades have played out.
There is also a part of me that fears menopause. It’s been made out to be the big, bad life altering wolf, so when worry kicks in, I wonder how I’ll handle the physical discomfort and emotional turmoil of it. During those internal dialogues, I remind myself that I learnt to manage my depression and PMDD (severe PMS) over the years with healthy coping mechanisms. So, yes, the menopause phase might be challenging, but I’ll learn to maintain my healthy habits and discover new ones.
About a month ago, I noticed prominent laugh lines. They showed up out of nowhere. When I first spotted them, I was aghast. My first reaction was to cringe, but I’ve had more time to look and admire them since that day. I’m still a tad surprised to see the laugh lines, but now I think how my body doesn’t deserve this treatment. My body loved me on the toughest of days. It loved me when I didn’t wish to be around. It loved me when I had crying spells. It has loved me through everything, never abandoning me for a moment. So, how could I abandon it now?
The challenge today and every day is to love my body even more than before. I find that the railroad tracks, the “dimples,” and the laugh lines sometimes make me sad. Other times, I find them exhilarating, because they reflect the life I’ve lived thus far. Sometimes, I find them scary wondering how else my body will change over the years. No matter the emotion, the only course of action is acceptance. One of the ways to accept the changes is by listening to my body’s needs and wants more and fulfilling those needs and wants without complaint. This phase is more about giving zero f*cks and discovering new ways to love my body and mind. My body will adjust as it always does. My mind will embrace as it always does. My heart will still love me as it always does.
Instead of completely spiraling, I am taking control of the situation by seeking researched and accurate information from credible sources on women’s health. I’ve taken to reading articles on how my 40s will affect me physically and emotionally. I’ve also had candid chats with other women, including my mother, on the changes they experienced, how they managed them, what they did well, and what they would do differently.
This is also the time for me to show the same grace to other women. Whether they choose to go under the knife, get fillers, or resort to any other means to hold on to their youth, it is their choice. I am in no position to judge or disrespect.
Additionally, I am trying to lighten the load by sharing my concerns. I’ve confided in people close to me, and I am sharing my insecurities with you all and anyone that reads this blog. It is nice to get this burden off my chest, because I know that somewhere someone else is going through a similar journey.
My outlook and patience will matter. If I keep thinking of the next decade as a death sentence, that is exactly what it will be. Nevertheless, if I look at it as the most liberating time where I get to grow my business, work on my aspirations, and nurture my relationships, then I will be A ok.
I rarely look at my younger days with longing, because the wisdom, curiosity, and understanding that I have today was absent then. I would not trade these assets for the physical ones. I no longer yearn for second chances, but that also means that I keep taking care of my whole health.
I forget that I know more today about my body, its miracles, and its capacity than I did when I was 29. More importantly, I am showing all of me the grace, love, and kindness that was absent in my 20s. No matter the hormonal changes that come my way, I will have my own back nurturing and adapting as needed. I wish the same for you no matter where you stand in your life’s journey.
As always, I am here to support you all the way, my brave soul. I hope you keep in touch with your stories, thoughts, and feedback. If you wish to learn more, please stop by www.imperfectbodies.com. Lastly, if you enjoyed this information, then please share it with others.
My guide to creating your vision available here: https://fierce-originator-1156.ck.page/fb87324085
Check out this week’s wellness video content on YouTube: Spreading Calm in Your Home
All the best,
Chaitni