Last week felt like a whirlwind of mental and performance tests. For the second time, I pursued the driving exam and succeeded after miserably failing the first time around. Life is a blend of such trials and experiments. Sometimes, we know what we’re doing, but majority of the times, we give it our best hoping it sticks. In this week’s blog, I share what I did to get through the most basic of tests, which is what gets me through challenging times. I share this anecdote to remind you that there is no end game in life, because it’s mostly about consistent support, desire, and work.
Shortly after I arrived in India almost two years ago, I applied for its version of the social security card. I went through hurdle after hurdle to obtain that legal proof of identity and residence. It took over a year, because of my overseas citizenship and non-Indian documents. Regardless, I needed to have this legal identification card from India to conduct the basics, such as opening a bank account and getting a driver’s license. When I finally received the identification card, I began the other processes that had been held up. Next on my agenda was to apply and take the written and practical driving test to obtain my license.
The written exam wasn’t too difficult even though I had to familiarize myself with the rules and signs here. Passing the written test granted me my learner’s permit, which meant I could now submit paperwork for the road test. My error in judgment was assuming that I would pass, since I was already driving locally. Little did I know that I was in for a humbling experience.
On the day of the test, a driving instructor explained the process and route of the exam. I had to follow a path specifically built at the DMV. The set up seemed simple enough, but I messed up royally. I was barely 90 seconds into the exam when I was told to exit without completing the route. I now know that I was overconfident, unprepared, and unwilling to listen to the advice that was given to me by the driving instructor. I was uncomfortable with his suggestion of adjusting my side view mirrors for the sake of the road test, which didn’t bode well for the parallel and reverse parking portions of the exam.
Somehow, I wasn’t terribly surprised at the results, but I was disappointed in myself. The DMV is no different here when it comes to the time and money it takes to acquire the necessary documents. I dreaded having to go through this whole ordeal again, especially during the rainy season. My failure meant that I had to practice more and apply what was explained to me.
Mind you, the makeshift route at the DMV is not a reflection of the roads or the skills required to drive on those roads. That fact was irrelevant as I wouldn’t be allowed to drive on the roads anyway if I didn’t pass the test. As the days passed, this pending task felt like a monkey on my back. My learner’s license was about to expire in August, so I had limited time to apply and pass the road test this time.
Finally, after delaying the impending requirement, I went for the test again. I was nervous, but I told myself that no matter what happened, my self-worth and identity were not tied to the result if I gave the test my best effort. The day of the test, I left earlier than the scheduled time and went to a mock driving range with my father. I practiced repeatedly for 30 minutes, and I was lucky to have incredibly knowledgeable teachers guiding me. They gave me tips, had me adjust my mirrors, which I listened to faithfully this time, and observed and evaluated patiently. When I left the practice facility, I felt mostly prepared. I wished I could’ve practiced one last time, but I was pressed for time and needed to head to the DMV.
During the car ride from the driving range to the DMV, my father reiterated that I had to tell myself and believe “I can,” and not “I can’t.” It was fundamental advice, but it got me through small instances of self-doubt during the test. Once we arrived at the DMV, my father also told me that no matter what happened, we would rejoice: if I passed, we would rejoice, and if I didn’t, we would still rejoice, because at least I’d gone in with 100% effort. Those words took the pressure off and made me focus more on giving my best.
My first time around giving the road test, I was so shaken after my poor attempt at parallel parking that I didn’t hear when the instructor called my name giving instructions to move ahead or stall. Unlike that time, I was fully present and heard my name and instructions loud and clear this time.
Most importantly, I told myself that there was no wanting to get this over with. Last time, all I wanted was to be done with the test and get my license. This time, I told myself that I would go through the process and do my best to learn and appreciate it. So, for a split second, when the thought to get this over with washed over me, I reassured myself of the promise to experience the process and not just the outcome.
When I exited the makeshift route after the exam, I was 90% sure that I had passed, and, thankfully, I did.
After I passed, I pondered what was different during my second attempt. It certainly wasn’t luck. I realized that it was practicing, focusing on positive self-talk, listening to those wiser than me, being grateful for the support, especially my father’s, staying present, and leaning into the process. The more I analyzed, the more I concluded that these aspects have been the foundation to overcome every single professional or personal challenge in my life.
In my 20s and early 30s, I never learnt or chose not to learn these fundamentals, so it was a constant cycle of horrible self-criticism, burdens, and wanting to get tough instances over and done with as soon as possible. It was exhausting and disappointing to say the least. Nowadays, it takes one failure, sometimes none, to go back to these basics of living life and its phases.
Wherever you are in life and whatever it throws at you, I hope you remember that the difficult times are not meant to break you. Despite the hardships and heartbreaks, those tough moments are meant to teach you invaluable lessons to live a life of greater purpose and understanding.
As always, I am here to support you all the way, my brave soul. I hope you keep in touch with your stories, thoughts, and feedback. If you wish to learn more, please stop by www.imperfectbodies.com. Lastly, if you enjoyed this information, then please share it with others.
My guide to creating your vision available here: https://fierce-originator-1156.ck.page/fb87324085
All the best,
Chaitni